Today I am featuring a fellow classmate I reblogged earlier, Ana Banana. In her post, Ana talks about the struggles of viewing herself as a writer and how blogging has helped her find her voice. Enjoy!
“Will the Real Writer Stand Up?”
I know this statement would not be appreciated by my teachers, but I really don’t consider myself a writer for many reasons. When I was younger, I wrote a few little books on Wattpad, before it became what it is today. I never could figure out how to put words to the scenes that I imagined, so I gave up on writing and found my happy place as a reader. Now as a young adult and a perfectionist, I struggle with considering myself qualified to be a writer. My memory, lately, has been horrible when recalling a simple word or concept I think of just minutes before. This makes it hard to get words down before I completely forget it. I also have what might be considered “imposter syndrome” where I don’t think what I have to say is what someone would want to hear, at least not in the same words.
Surprisingly, in contrast with these thoughts, I have always imagined what I would say in interviews or biographies. I want to get my story out, but I really struggle to get it out in a palatable way. Having to create my blog has forced me to work on my writing outside of research papers and thinking of myself as a writer. One of the first books I read was the Laura Ingalls Wilder series and she wrote from her experiences in life, which is a concept I mirror in my writing. I think my story is unique because of my upbringing and now my current mindset and all of the roads that have led me here. I’m a young Black woman, which is a perspective that I think is already pretty interesting. Add on to that my semi strict Christian upbringing, my current semi liberal beliefs, and my weird obsessions and interests.
Beside my struggle to qualify myself, I am learning to be descriptive in my writing. As a reader, most of what makes reading fun is the different descriptions of the world, people, and interactions. I am also learning to find the balance between oversharing and being vulnerable, which I have always struggled with. I don’t like getting personal, but I brings authenticity and builds trust. The other side of this is that once I get started with personal details, I have a hard time stopping, which can make things awkward for the reader. Even though I am learning to consider myself maybe a baby writer, I think I will always be growing as writer, and I won’t truly ever be satisfied with my writing ability. I’ve made peace with this and I am enjoying displaying this growth process on my blog.